Instead of being “jelly” of the success of others use it as motivation 


“Never underestimate the power of envy and jealousy to destroy” Oliver Stone 

We all have heard throughout our lives not to be jealous or envious of the success of others. But rarely are we told how to change or eliminate these destructive feelings.

These are 7 steps I’ve found helpful to turn the power of the destructive green eyed monster into positive motivation. 

Here is what  I do when others in my life are achieving success. 

1. Be genuinely happy for their success. 

  •  Recognize that their success doesn’t preclude you from being successful
  • There isn’t a fixed amount of success in the world 
  • Another person’s success doesn’t limit your life 
  • Remember you want the people in your life to be happy and successful 

2. Compliment them on their successes.

  • Always be genuine – first rule of complimenting is to mean it
  • Tell them that you are proud of them for having a particular success 
  • Tell them why you think it’s amazing they accomplished something 
  • The more success you have in life the more you realize what it takes to achieve it

3. Inquire about it. 

  • Ask the person about their struggle, why they did it or how they accomplished it. 
  • Ask them about their mindset 
  • Ask them about their biggest challenge and their struggles they had to overcome
  • Every success story begins with struggle and continues in struggle 

4. Add what you admire about their success to help build your future story of self. 

  • By using this process you’ve now gained information that can help you achieve more success in your life
  • Use them as an example of someone who has figured out how to go from not having what they wanted to getting what they desired 
  • Incorporate elements of the mindset they’ve developed to achieved the success you admire into your own thought processes 

5. Look at the successes of your own life. 

  • Remember that you’ve already had plenty of successes in your own life
  • Have a list of these to call upon when the feelings of jealousy crop up 
  • Daily tracking of your small successes is also helpful in keeping at bay the feelings of jealousy 

6. Focus on what you truly want.  

  • You are not meant to be a copy of someone else 
  • Define your personal definition of success  
  • Write down what you want your future to be like 
  • Many times we feel jealousy toward the achievement of others because we’ve not figured out what we truly want

7. Take steps each day toward your goals

  • Jealousy can be an indicator that you’re not doing what you know you need to in order to get what you want 
  • Jealousy is a time waster and takes away from time you can spend on your own success 
  • Use the success of others as motivation for you to take action
  • Jealousy saps your energy and creates feelings of anxiety and resentment 

Be happy for the success of others around you. 

Be grateful you have successful people in your life. 

Let them know how much you admire their success. 

Learn from it. 

Clarify what you want to achieve. 

Take action based on information gleaned from your conversations with those who are successful to help you have more of what you want in life. 

The success of others can generate feelings of jealousy and envy or they can be an unending source of gratitude, admiration and motivation. The choice is yours.  

Brad 

Fellow Human