Inquire, compliment, motivate 

Three steps you can take immediately to improve how you connect and communicate with those around you and make your world a better place to inhabit. 

We all want to heard, valued and encouraged. This is a fundamental aspect of being human. But like everything else in this world we must give in order to receive. 

These techniques are not about manipulation or deception and definitely not designed to make your conversations all one sided affairs.   They are merely tools that if used consistently during conversations  can help you to improve your knowledge of others and the world, clarify what you admire, and strengthen your relationships. 

 1. Inquire 

Ask questions. This seems like such a no-brained but how many conversations have you been a part of that consists of two people spouting declarative sentences at each other? These type of conversations are not the best way to connect with others. 

What can separate you from the masses is to ask relevant follow up questions based on the answer of your conversation partner. The more you are knowledgeable about many different subjects the better questions you can ask. Never stop learning. 

This active listening during the conversation helps to curb our tendency to focus on what we are going to say next without understanding what the other person is really saying. The better we understand others in our life the better our life becomes. 

Take away:

If you want to to be heard you first need to hear others.

 2: Compliment

We all want to be complimented. Unfortunately most of us don’t receive compliments on a regular basis. This can be demoralizing and explains a lot about what people post on social media. You may not be able to illicit compliments on demand but you can pay others compliments without it costing you a dime. 

When you are interacting with another human being, consciously seek out the qualities, actions, successes, attributes, personality traits, and aspects of their style that you find admirable or appealing. 

People are starving for sincere compliments. Don’t lie about liking their dress when you don’t. People can detect this as bullshit. 

Make a point to confidently give your compliments to others.. Look them  in the eye pay them the compliment and then tell them the why behind the compliment. 

Telling a girl her dress is nice is better than nothing. A better option though would be telling her why she looks amazing in that dress. Make it personal and meaniful. 


Paying a sincere compliment to someone is one one of the best gifts you can give them and it costs you nothing. 

3. Motivate

Everyone needs a consistent intake of vitamin M (motivation). Be that source for the people you spend time with. Feelings of doubt, fear, and inferiority are part of the human condition. Help those that you love and those you encounter receive their daily dose of vitamin M.

Takeaway: When we motivate others we motivate ourselves as well. 

Our relationships are our life. Learning how to better connect and communicate with your fellow human beings is the simplest, cheapest, and most efficient way to improve the quality of your life, the life of those you love and as a result make the world a better place to inhabit. 

Brad Miller

Fellow Human 

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